It’s been a while since I last touched base on here. My second goal of 50 days came and went without much ado to be honest, although I have had a rather large Cheshire Cat grin on my face now and then. Being British, it’s not really in my nature to blow my own trumpet, but can I just say how flippin proud I am of myself? 57 days without wine! Who would have thought that possible just a couple of months ago? Not me, that’s for sure….and I think it’s safe to say that my friends and family didn’t either.
When I first quit, I was reading blogs and message boards for hours every day. I wanted to know how I was going to feel at each stage and what would be going on with my body as I detoxed. I wanted a guide with a check box for each stage. I wanted to know how I would know what I needed to know about what I should know about what this thing was all about….if that makes sense…..but lets be honest, not much about all this stuff makes much sense really.
All I can say is that in my first blog, I mentioned that I thought it would be a bumpy ride, and it certainly has been. But not a horrid turbulent journey, like going to fall out of the sky type thing. More like a Mulholland Madness ride with sharp twists and dips with the odd smooth run mixed in.
After three weeks or so, I didn’t feel the need to write each day. It was an amazing tool in the beginning for keeping myself accountable, but later I felt quite comfortable watching from the outside so to speak. I followed others as they began their journeys and rooted for them and cheered on from the side lines. I still do… you know who you are!
Around 6 weeks AF, the fog cleared and I felt, for the first time in my life, that I never wanted to drink alcohol again. I didn’t see that one coming! I just thought that I would abstain for a while, a few weeks maybe, then treat myself now and again as I would have become a normal drinker. I was actually looking forward to it! But I don’t see that happening now. I’m not sure what earth shattering experience would make me want to go back to how I used to be. I’ve come too far to take a single step back.
I know there will be other hurdles ahead, and just last week I was so frustrated at how monotonous the days have become sometimes. When I get angry or sad I don’t have that Wine World to visit that gave my escapism from reality. But it’s ok. I’m working on changing things up and encouraging Ed to join me in being spontaneous now and then… eat out on a Thursday?? Why not! Go for it! Live dangerously!
So there are new twists and turns ahead, but hopefully more plateaus too. Who knows? Not me. There’s not really a guide books for this. I’m taking notes from here, there and everywhere (cue Beatles) and feel indebted to every single person who has shared their words and experiences about their own journeys. It’s a privilege to part of this inspiring albeit anonymous world. Thank you fellow travelers!