I didn’t really plan to get this far in my alcohol free journey as it didn’t seem at all possible. But I’m here, insanely happy and almost bursting with pride.
In the beginning, I spent a lot of time reading blogs about quitting drinking and noticed that not many keep updating past a few months. That scared me as I took it to be an indication that they weren’t able to stay on the happy train.
Now I think it’s more a case of they reach a stage where they feel safe enough to go it alone or it just doesn’t register in their daily life anymore. I’m a mixture of both, quite safe and not as many triggers.
But I am reminded of it in positive ways many times a day. First off, the mirror. I no longer stare at my eyes to see if they’ve turned yellow. And if my bags are really crap one day, I can honestly blame it on a bad reaction to my wrinkle cream. No shame there! I no longer have to suck on cough sweets all day at work to hide the smell of stale wine. I don’t cringe when the trash truck picks up my recycle can that used to house enough empty wine bottles to start a winery. And of course, I no longer wake up at 3:00am in a blind panic and try and remember what the hell happened the night before.
I do still get sad, mad, angry, paranoid and anxious, it’s just a million times milder than before. On the very odd occasion, I miss the feeling of drifting off into Stella’s Wine World, but I just wait a few minutes and it passes. Takes about the same amount of time as it takes my tea to brew in the teapot. It’s true, tea does fix everything!
It still feels a tad unreal. Nobody around me has changed their habits or batted an eyelid really. I’ve done sober flights, a wedding, family celebrations and sober sunsets. I’ve also cut my hair, bought makeup and lost 20 pounds. Pretty fair to say it’s the best I’ve looked and felt in my life. The makeup isn’t a mask by the way, it’s just because I can actually bear to look at myself in the mirror and I no longer feel the need to hide myself away in disgust like I used to.
I’m on the countdown now to my first year anniversary. 97 days to go. I’m not going to say it will be a doddle, because it won’t. Nothing in life is. Some days are good, others are not. That’s just the way life is. Swings and roundabouts, a balancing act and lots of tea. Off to put my lippy on now…💋